Every day is a new opportunity in our marriage for the Crazy Cycle to make an appearance. It’s ugly, vengeful, and has no plans of ever leaving for good. You know what I’m talking about… She says something snarky about unfinished laundry. He says he washed it so she should dry it. She starts naming off a completed chores list like it’s a resume, and no one is happy about anything. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs defines the Crazy Cycle as an “endless cycle of negative reactions when couples try to resolve conflicts.”
One way my husband has taught me to fight the negativity that the cycle creates is with humor. I refer to it as “calling me out on my (or his) crazy.” If I get annoyed that something isn’t put away, it will either end up in my work bag or under my pillow. If I leave a post-it note for him with a “To Do,” I come home to post-its all over the apartment (ALL over).
Why is this a wonderful way to break the negativity? Because you can’t be mad at someone for long when they make you laugh. :) It breaks the tension, causes you to relax in a place that probably hurts, and encourages you to be creative in similar silly ways.
Here are some of the ways my husband has broken the Crazy Cycle in just the past few days: Continue reading